The Target Trap
My husband and brother-in-law both agree that there is something evil behind the scenes at Target. Something their wives aren’t telling them. Is it a cult? Does the big red bulls-eye somehow hypnotize women across the country?
I can’t really answer that. I’ve fallen under the Target spell. Whatever it is… Target is my happy place. It seems cleaner than the neighboring big box store, the people seem friendlier and there is a Starbucks! What more could I want?
I left the house today with my Target shopping list.
- Chocolate Milk
- Toilet Paper
- Light Bulbs
- Bottled Water
- Baby Wipes
My “plan” was to go in, get what I needed, swing by the Starbucks for my Venti Green Tea Frappuccino and get out.
Seems easy enough.
But this is where I get snagged… I rarely ever get to leave the house without at least one of my three little ones in tow. When the three-year-old caught wind that mommy was going to Target, he had to tag along. Target is his happy place too. He knows that mommy stops by the Starbucks on her way out and that equates to a cake pop for him.
We make the quick drive (Target is only 8 1/2 minutes from our house). I walk in… it’s bright and clean, people smile at my adorable little boy who is begging for his cake pop NOW.
The battle has started… I convince him to wait until we leave and one by one I check the things off my list trying to ignore the cute “swingy” tank top I passed on the way to the diapers. In my mind I’m thinking, I could dress that up if I wanted, I could wear it in the fall with a cardigan (I have every color cardigan imaginable, also purchased at one time or another at Target). Wow, it was really cute! It would also hide this huge fat roll around my center… Technically I could wear it year round… I fight the urge to go back.
Leaving the diaper section… diapers and wipes have been checked off my list. We are headed towards the light bulbs as I try to navigate around the toy section without the 3-year-old noticing (he’s not as observant as his older brother). Momentary lapse in judgement/memory as my son knows Target just as well (if not better than me). “Are we going to look at the toys he asks?” But my eye has already caught the kids clearance rack…
For those of you who don’t know, I had little girl last summer and a whole new world has opened up to me as a result. Little girls clothing is so freaking adorable! And even cuter on clearance!!! But if I buy Isabella something then I need to buy the boys each something… and Brandon does need new pajamas so now we back track…
I lie and tell Jackson the toy section is temporarily closed. and hurry off to the light bulbs.
Check one more thing off the list.
Next on the list, bottled water.
Damn it! The water is stacked next to the snack aisle. Grrr… Jackson pipes up, “Toys are closed, I get Gold Fish?” I tell him we are going to get his cake pop on the way out but he want’s a snack for “later”. I grab the bag and throw them in the cart. “What about Brandon”, he asks? “These are mines!” I grab another damn bag. Thankfully Isabella is still young enough that she won’t know she didn’t get her own Gold Fish crackers and they boys will be forced to share a few with her.
Milk & chocolate milk have now been checked off the list.
I sneak up the back way to the toilet paper. Shit! What are these cute lunch boxes doing here? Brandon will need one for Kindergarten this year. Of course Jackson wants one too.
Toilet paper, check.
I look over the list real quick. We are done. Check out here we come!
Then I remember it’s my niece’s birthday party this weekend. Since I’m already here I may as well take care of that too.
I stop at the cards and grab a cute one, some tissue paper, (surely I have a gift bag at home). And now I’m standing at the clothing section again (but on the other side) and wow! How cute is this outfit!?!?!? Should I get a pair of shoes to go with it? Shoe aisle here we come!
But wait! There is that cute tank top again. It really is a good price… maybe there is a discount on Cartwheel… plus if I use my Red Card I get 5% off… hmmm… into the cart it goes!
I’m making good time. We’ve only been gone 33 minutes. What time is it? Should I pick up something for dinner? Back to the food section… Oh! The mini muffins the boys love! I think I have a coupon for those!
Finally at the check out. Batteries! We ALWAYS need batteries.
The cashier smiles at us. Jackson tells her his name and how much he loves Target and he’s getting a cake pop. She gives him a sticker and another 2 for his brother and sister at home.
She totals my order. I cringe. She scans my Cartwheel app. I’ve saved money on the baby wipes, milk, water and the mini muffins. I pay with my Red Card and watch the balance go down even further. I convince myself that it could have been worse.
We stop at Starbucks. Woo hoo! Cartwheel is offering %25 off my Frappuccino!
I had a small simple list. I was planning on spending less than $100.
Let’s just say that didn’t happen. (AGAIN!)
I fell into the Target trap AND I brought a toddler with me. You would think I would learn.
We load up the car to head home.
OMG! Bread. I forgot the bread. It wasn’t on my list.
Back inside we go…